“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Why does it seem that everybody feels the need to share that old saying with you after you have ended a relationship? I know it’s their way of easing the pain of a breakup and while it may be true, it never has the desired effect. Neither is it what the person concerned wants to hear. They want to know what went wrong and how to put things back as it used to be.

The good news is that there are some things you can do to start feeling better and move on with your life.

Let’s face the facts.

After a split, feelings get hurt, tears flow, anger surges and the thought of never loving again seems like a real possibility. I mention this because it’s important to know that the ebb and flow of feelings after breaking up are normal. I have been through it myself!

Apart from time, the only thing that will heal the hurt is accepting things for what they are. Once you can do this, easing the pain of a breakup becomes nearly automatic. However, it may take a while before you get to that stage. Here are a few things you can do to feel better in the meantime.

Get out: Hiding yourself away is detrimental to the healing process. Go ahead and take a little time to be alone, but don’t overdo it. Get out of the house as soon as you can and re-discover the things life has to offer. In the beginning it’s a good idea to avoid the old haunts you used to frequent with your ex. Other than that, have a ball!

Stay busy: While you shouldn’t try to completely ignore what you are going through, it’s also not a good idea to dwell on it. Participate in positive or productive activities to give your heart and mind a rest. Clean the house, play games, go to the gym, or anything else that requires movement and some level of thought.

Laugh: It may seem impossible, you may even feel guilty about it, but go ahead and laugh. It is believed that laughter releases certain “feel good” chemicals in the brain. The more you laugh, the better you will feel. Easing the pain of a breakup is never a simple thing to do, but if you can smile and laugh you are well on the way to better days.

Seek help: What if everything you do to feel better just doesn’t seem to work? When this happens get help from a qualified therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. They are there to help. More importantly, they are trained to do one thing better than the average person. What is that thing? Listening. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear is all you need to start moving on.

I have seen this issue from both sides firstly as someone “abandoned” by my ex and not understanding what I wanted. Even through I was a trained and experienced counselor I could still not bring myself to getting into the professional shoes I had been taught to do. Secondly I have seen it in the lives of close friends and clients who had come to me for help. Believe me it was far easier for me to help positively someone who was only a client rather than a friend as well. In these cases I could step and see the wider picture of what was happening to the person. I found that talking it through with friends very difficult and sometimes impossible to do as I knew and cared for them so much I felt and was distracted by their pain.

Nobody likes to part ways with someone that’s close to them. Even if you knew things were getting worse for quite some time, the actual split can be difficult to handle. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, but only to a certain degree. At some point you have to be proactive in easing the pain of a breakup. Using the simple ways mentioned above will get you feeling better much sooner.

4 New Simple Ways Of Easing The Pain Of A Relationship Breakup is a post from: Get Ex Boyfriend Back.org

Some relationships truly do need to end. If your partner is abusing you, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If you’re on other side, and you’re having trouble controlling your temper, then you’re obligated to break up with the other person for both of your sakes.

Aside from the obvious, when should you consider ending a relationship? When it’s clear to you that the two of you no longer want the same things in a relationship. If the other person wants to get married and you don’t, that’s a sign. When you find yourself moved to cheat on them with someone else, that’s a sign.

Ending a relationship shouldn’t follow a big fight. This is how good relationships end up being broken apart when there’s no reason they had to. When considering breaking it off with the other person, you need to have a clear head about the entire relationship.

Once you decided to break it off, you need to do it the right way so that you can both move on. There are three basic guidelines you need to follow:

Don’t Play Games – Nobody likes to break up with someone. That’s normal, but there’s a temptation to try and make the other person do the dirty work in ending a relationship. Mostly subconsciously, we pick fights and play games to try and antagonize the other person into breaking up with us.

This is a trap you need to avoid. Be direct, be honest and be proactive; make sure you treat the other person with respect. Trying to goad them into breaking up with you will simply make you both miserable.

Do it in Person – Breaking up is a very painful experience for both parties. It is very tempting to bring the relationship to the end by email or phone or, these days, text message. That way, you don’t have to see the look on their face or if you leave a message, without even talking to him.

But obviously, this is no way to end a relationship. If you do not interact with the other person will breaking up, you won’t have any kind of closure. This defeats the entire point of making a clean break. Do both of you a favor and break up in person in a relatively private place.

Be Honest – You need to tell the other person exactly why you are ending the relationship. This isn’t easy, because they will have tendency to try and talk you out of it, but the truth is that lying to them about the reasons doesn’t help either of you. Be honest, even if they don’t want to hear it.

If you follow these three tips, you will find ending a relationship to be a much smoother, much more effective process. Be aware, though, that along the way, you might find that the problems you have are fixable. If this is the case, you need to find some resources to help you mend and repair the relationship.

Ending A Relationship Know When To Stay And When To Go is a post from: Get Ex Boyfriend Back.org