If you’ve stayed friendly and you haven’t insulted each other, the chances of you getting back together are better than if things had gotten ugly. But even if the breakup was bad, people can forgive and set aside those hurt feelings if they try hard enough.

When you’ve asked your friends, “Can I get my ex back?” some of them probably told you that maybe you could. Some might have shouted “No way!” And some probably said they didn’t know.

Your closest friends probably know a lot about your break up situation, so their thoughts on the matter are important to you. But unless they’ve broken up with someone and gotten them back, they really don’t know the keys to getting someone back. Plus they are possiblay too close to be able to take non-emotional point of view consquently they tell you what they think you wnat to hear.

They might think you’re foolish when you ask them, “Can I get my ex back?” But maybe they think you shouldn’t want your ex back in the first place. It’s hard for them to be supportive if you do want your ex back, if they never liked him or her to start with.

Take all the advice you can get, but remember that not all of it is good advice. Beware of any extreme advice, like people telling you that you should just date several people or start another relationship to make your ex jealous. Jealousy could lead to your ex deciding to let you go, since you give the appearance that you’re already moving on.

When you ask some people, “Can I get my ex back?” they might encourage you to have many casual relationships and to forget about your ex. The decision is yours, but your goal is to not do anything to drive your ex farther away. Your ex finding out that you’ve slept with one or more people while you’ve been trying to get them back isn’t going to help your case.

The only truly honest answer to the question, “Can I get my ex back?” is maybe. To give yourself the best chance of getting back together with your ex, you need to make them miss you. You don’t have to date other people or make them jealous to do that.

Just be the best “you” you can be when you’re around them. We all like to be around pleasant, happy and friendly people. Be a good friend, be positive and helpful. Once you’ve made it clear you want another chance, trust that your ex knows that and has it on their mind.

Be the best person you can be when you’re around your ex, even if it’s hard. This will help them remember the reasons they fell in love with you in the first place.

“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Why does it seem that everybody feels the need to share that old saying with you after you have ended a relationship? I know it’s their way of easing the pain of a breakup and while it may be true, it never has the desired effect. Neither is it what the person concerned wants to hear. They want to know what went wrong and how to put things back as it used to be.

The good news is that there are some things you can do to start feeling better and move on with your life.

Let’s face the facts.

After a split, feelings get hurt, tears flow, anger surges and the thought of never loving again seems like a real possibility. I mention this because it’s important to know that the ebb and flow of feelings after breaking up are normal. I have been through it myself!

Apart from time, the only thing that will heal the hurt is accepting things for what they are. Once you can do this, easing the pain of a breakup becomes nearly automatic. However, it may take a while before you get to that stage. Here are a few things you can do to feel better in the meantime.

Get out: Hiding yourself away is detrimental to the healing process. Go ahead and take a little time to be alone, but don’t overdo it. Get out of the house as soon as you can and re-discover the things life has to offer. In the beginning it’s a good idea to avoid the old haunts you used to frequent with your ex. Other than that, have a ball!

Stay busy: While you shouldn’t try to completely ignore what you are going through, it’s also not a good idea to dwell on it. Participate in positive or productive activities to give your heart and mind a rest. Clean the house, play games, go to the gym, or anything else that requires movement and some level of thought.

Laugh: It may seem impossible, you may even feel guilty about it, but go ahead and laugh. It is believed that laughter releases certain “feel good” chemicals in the brain. The more you laugh, the better you will feel. Easing the pain of a breakup is never a simple thing to do, but if you can smile and laugh you are well on the way to better days.

Seek help: What if everything you do to feel better just doesn’t seem to work? When this happens get help from a qualified therapist, counselor or psychiatrist. They are there to help. More importantly, they are trained to do one thing better than the average person. What is that thing? Listening. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear is all you need to start moving on.

I have seen this issue from both sides firstly as someone “abandoned” by my ex and not understanding what I wanted. Even through I was a trained and experienced counselor I could still not bring myself to getting into the professional shoes I had been taught to do. Secondly I have seen it in the lives of close friends and clients who had come to me for help. Believe me it was far easier for me to help positively someone who was only a client rather than a friend as well. In these cases I could step and see the wider picture of what was happening to the person. I found that talking it through with friends very difficult and sometimes impossible to do as I knew and cared for them so much I felt and was distracted by their pain.

Nobody likes to part ways with someone that’s close to them. Even if you knew things were getting worse for quite some time, the actual split can be difficult to handle. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, but only to a certain degree. At some point you have to be proactive in easing the pain of a breakup. Using the simple ways mentioned above will get you feeling better much sooner.

What you should consider, however, is that you are not the first couple to break up and you will not be the last. You should take solace in that you and your partner will survive and will be moving forward.

When you are faced with the task of trying to surviving a breakup, there are a number of tips which will lead you towards surviving the breakup. The first step is to not bottle up the pain. One cannot go through life without pain. Breaking up with a loved one is emotionally the same as the death of one. You should know that you will be hurt and that it is okay to break down a little and cry as needed. You should write down stuff, you should scream, you should do whatever is needed to let all of the pain out and move on.

Once you have reached a clear and calm state, you are now ready to evaluate things and try and find out where you and your partner are in the relationship. Knowing where you are will allow you and yours to make the right decision. More times than not, you will find that the relationship is truly over. This is something that you and your ex partner needs to come to terms with. Once you are at terms with things, you take the next step.

When you have come to the decision not to let the relationship continue, you and your ex needs to remove the overlaps in your lives. This includes property that you two have exchanged and are left at the other person’s home. This sort of negotiation and separation is to ensure that nothing is left as an emotional landmine later on in your lives. Once the two of you have completely separated, then what you should do is to perform a finalizing ritual. This is a symbolic event which will involve letting an effigy of your ex go, via destroying it or some other task. You could burn one of their letters, their photo, throw away their leftovers, and delete their files off your computer and so on. This symbolic gesture is for your benefit.

At this point, you should use whatever support that is available to you. This can be friends, family, and other loved ones that can provide an emotional support net for you. Even though you have done what you can to soften the blow of the break up, you will still face turbulence. As a result you will need all of the help you can get as you are surviving a breakup.

There’s no foolproof way to determine if this person is the right one for you. The only thing you can figure out if you’re in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.

You have to ask yourself several questions to figure out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won’t be skipping and picking flowers every second, of course, but in general you should feel happy to be with that person.

You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don’t let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.

When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you’re wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren’t in this relationship?

Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you’re preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.

Do you feel safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.

Do you feel safe from the threat of a break up? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person.

If you think the person is cheating, then you’re spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That’s no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.

Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don’t trust the other person, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.

Do you feel special? If you feel like you’re constantly fighting for the other person’s attention and affection, you might look for someone else. You should feel like the person most important to them if you’re in the right relationship.

Divorce lawyers do a booming business. Over half of marriages end in divorce. Have you ever wondered why that number is so high? Is it because too many couples get married too quickly before they really know what they’re getting into? Are they asking, “Can I stop my divorce?” practically before the last piece of wedding cake is wrapped?

Are people marrying too young? These things might seem like pat answers, but when you consider that many couples who have been married for 20, 30 and 40 years are getting divorced too, that seems to eliminate the more frivolous marriages and divorces like those we see among starlets and stars.

No, usually when you wonder, “Can I stop my divorce?” it’s not because you married too young or because you’re in a marriage that was doomed from the start. It’s just that you’ve grown apart from your spouse.

On one hand that’s good. It means you’ve grown, and generally a married person needs to be in a caring, nurturing marriage to grow. On the other hand it’s all too easy to grow in such a way that we feel a bit isolated from our spouse, as if they don’t know a certain part of us that we might like to keep private.

When one spouse grows and takes on new interests, it can cause that disconnect between the spouses. Sometimes there’s jealousy and envy that a spouse is succeeding while the other feels inadequate or cheated in some way. Marriage counseling is the recommended treatment for such feelings.

Until or instead of counseling, though, you can try to take an interest in something that your spouse does apart from you. You’ll quickly discover if the gap between your activities is the problem. If your spouse isn’t thrilled about your interest, then let it go. He or she considers that particularly activity to be me time for them.

On the other hand, if your spouse seems very enthusiastic about you getting involved, maybe that was part of the problem all along. He or she wanted to include you but didn’t know how to go about it, or didn’t think you would be interested.

Show genuine interest and ask questions without overdoing it unless you are genuinely excited by the topic. Engage your spouse in conversation about the interest. Be affectionate as you’re talking by putting a hand on his/her arm or shoulder.

Since you’re wondering, “Can I stop my divorce?” you’re going to want to do everything you can get to things on your side. You’re in rescue mode, so no matter how disinterested you might be in your spouse’s hobby, don’t let it show.

And while you’re wondering, “Can I stop my divorce?” don’t forget that your spouse might turn around and ask you about your hobby, too.